Today…

Today, I had to work very hard to contain my rather unrestrainable wanderlust. Today, I had to be smart, and logical, and all those other boring things adults have to do. Today, I had to think about how to pay for dental insurance instead of where I would be drinking next.

Today, I adult-ed. And it was terrible.

I found the most amazing deal I think I’ll ever find. $375 for a roundtrip ticket to Paris, France, and hostel rooms for $25 per night. I had to beg my parents to convince me not to do it. I don’t exactly have money, but I have over $700–and that’s all I’d need for Paris. Who needs food when you’re literally in Paris? Certainly not me.

But I had rent to pay this summer. I have groceries to buy. I need gas to get to my internship and whatever job I end up with. I can’t just go to Paris.

So instead I started planning a trip to Canada. Granted, it’s not as exciting or exotic, but it’s also much cheaper and will hopefully satisfy my need for travel just the same…or just enough to get me through the summer until I have a job that will give me enough money to go somewhere new. I miss being able to go to another country for a weekend while I was studying abroad.

Kids, don’t grow up. Or if you do, do it nice and slowly.

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How to last two weeks in your home town

 

Quite honestly, I have no help for you. None at all. I’m just sitting here in my hometown trying not to be drunk 24 hours a day. I graduated college four days ago, and I feel nothing except boredom.

I start my internship in exactly fourteen days, and they just can’t pass quickly enough.

Things that have changed since I started college:

  1. I part my hair in the middle.
  2. I drink a whole lot more.
  3. I kind of know a little bit more than when I started.

And that’s it. Tomorrow I will go to an exercise class that is something like kickboxing. It will take up approximately one hour of my life. I’m not sure what to do with the other 23.

Here’s a hint: freelancing is difficult. I read on The Financial Diet that I should have “side hustles”. I didn’t even know what that meant, at first. Now I feel pressure to have one, and nobody seems to be equally interested. Upwork.com is rather useless, and I can’t trust anyone enough to actually put in payment information. Wyznt.com is pretty reliable, but I also know for a fact that there are people much more knowledgeable than I am on there.

Who would seriously trust this graduated-alcoholic to tutor their child? I did well on my SAT’s but Jesus, I wouldn’t trust me with much.

Basically, I’m in the middle of this slump. It’s a life slump, and I’m just biding my time until I move to Rochester to start my internship. There’s a lot of drinking, a lot of tanning, and a lot of almost losing my mind with boredom. I love my family, but all I want to do is go to bars and have “fun”, whatever that means. Too young for suburbia, I am. But I guess I can offer a few tips:

  1. Be drunk.

And I’m talking spend a ridiculous portion of the day drunk. As long as you have nowhere to be (and, let’s face it, you’re at home so you don’t have to be ANYWHERE) just keep drinking. Alcohol makes the most banal situations seem exciting. For example, today a mosquito bit me. You’d think I’d just been attacked by ISIS with how I reacted. Alcohol will make things interesting–I make no guarantees about whether it’ll be bad or good interesting.

  1. Eat a lot

That bikini body you’ve been working on for oodles and oodles of time? Say goodbye to it. In the few weeks that you’re home, you’ll start eating everything. I don’t even like greasy foods, but I swear I ate four pieces of pizza in one day. Mozzarella sticks that make my stomach feel sick after consuming? Whatever, bring them on. I’ll eat it and it’ll pass about fifteen minutes of the endless time of being home.

  1. Text a boy you found on a dating app

Is he a serial killer? Who can tell? But he’ll amuse the hell out of you for the two weeks you’re stuck in the hell called home. He’s probably doing fun things in the city while you sit and rot! Get him to tell you about it so you can live vicariously!

That’s all I have for you. Until next time.

 

listening in.

I’m four glasses of wine in. I don’t really have anything to say today. Except that life is very hard. I’m listening to my roommate get broken up with in the room next to mine, and all I can think of is when I got broken up with over six months ago. And it felt like shit. I’m listening to Jimi Hendrix to drown out the sound of her crying and the sound of him pleading with her to understand. And everything is terrible right now. “All Along the Watchtower” is now etched in my head as a song of tragedy.

The playlist has moved on to Metallica now, and I had to use Word’s spellcheck function to spell the band’s name correctly. I wouldn’t be surprised if there were tons of typos in this. I’m doing the best I can. I’m currently listening to Hazel Hayes’ playlist “In Case of Emergency” playlist on Spotify. The company I’m interviewing for in less than a week creates the database that gives Spotify its information. All I can hear is anger and sadness. I want to hear anything but that, and yet I listen to Metallica. Rather counterproductive, if you ask me. Not that my opinion matters, since I’m the one listening to it.

I just don’t know why people go into things knowing they’ll hurt other people.

Here’s a picture of study abroad to lighten the mood. See if you can guess which one I am:

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